Friday, February 15, 2013

Jim Carrey, Australia, police, and Crack Heads

Ok, this one is really screwed up. 
I was at a backyard wrestling match at my coworker's Rachel's house, with Jim Carrey (dressed as Freddie Mercury) and Ethan Supplee from "My Name is Earl".  I had a dog with me named Max, which will be important later in the dream.  Also, it is important to know we were in Australia.

The wrestling match was coming to an end as this dream begins, Jim, Ethan and I get in Jim's truck and go to pick up another person from a different neighborhood.  I left Max with Rachel at the house.  There were signs, similar to political signs, in people's yards with Jim Carrey's face on it advertising for a TV show in which Jim's character was a serial killer who was a master of disguise.  The only conclusion is, I was in a television show as a character with the other 2 actors.

As we're driving through these neighborhoods to go pick up the forth person, there are a bunch of bare footed crack heads walking around, kind of like zombies, getting questioned and arrested by the police. 

We finally pick up the other person, and go driving some more.  Either I stopped dreaming at this point, or don't remember why we picked him up or where we went, because the next part of the dream is us dropping me off at a different house, and for some reason I didn't have any shoes on.  Maybe I never had them on, maybe I left them at Rachel's house.  Regardless, I had to walk to Rachel's a couple blocks over, to go pick up Max and go home. 

As the rain begins to fall, I get out of the truck and start walking down the driveway to head to Rachel's house, and I trip and fall onto the wet concrete.  So now here I am, walking the streets of crack-zombie neighborhood, barefoot, wet and dirty.

As I'm walking, a female police officer starts to question me about being a crack addict.  I was very sober in my answers and convinced her to follow me to Rachel's house so I could pick up Max, and corroborate my story, purposely leaving out the fact that I was recently in the company of the master of disguise serial killer Jim Carrey.

Finally we reach Rachel's and I am able to show the police the remains of the wrestling ring in the back yard, and we enter the house to find Rachel and retrieve Max, therefore making my story accurate so the police don't think of me as a crack head.

I ask Rachel where Max is, and she seems a little distracted, as if maybe she forgot she was supposed to be watching him, or that she possibly lost him.  But she says "Oh he is downstairs, let me go get him".  The police, in the meantime are searching the house for clues.

In the basement, Rachel's brother, sitting in a 70's style recliner, is watching an older episode of the TV show that we are in.  In this episode, Jim, dressed as Albert Einstein, Ethan and a third man are walking down the large hall of a beautiful mansion, eating kabobs.  Ethan exclaimed how tasty the meat was, and the third gentleman said that it was "Mike's dog".  The police heard this, and thought that Rachel had cooked Max and served it to people in the basement.

Then I woke up.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Heeeeres Iggy!

Sometimes, in your dreams, the location in which you are doing something mundane like watching TV, is an improbable one.  Last night was one of those dreams.
I was in a industrial building, with a bunch of pipes and chain link fences.  I don't remember what I was doing there or why I was there, but the "TV" came on, even though the "TV" was one of the chain link fences.  But that's not the bizarre, important part of the dream.  It is what came on the "TV" that was strange.

Apparently, in my dream world, Iggy Pop has a late night talk show.  Yep, that's right, the one and only, Iggy Pop.  I thought to my self, "self, why would Iggy Pop have a late night talk show?  Of all of the non-establishment ideals he stands for, why would he have a late night talk show?  And who would watch it?!"  But alas, there it was, Late Night with Iggy Pop.

He came out on stage, with a band to the side of him, with his signature long hair, but he was dressed in a suit.  It was a standard late night show set, with a curtain for him to walk through, a city skyline in the background.  He started doing a monologue, and introduced members of the band.  The drummer and guitar player to be exact.  They both said some nonsensical stuff into the microphone in response to his jokes, and they both looked very haggard.  I wish I remembered what his jokes were, because I'm sure they were epic.

His first guest was Henry Rollins.  They showed a montage of him during the Black Flag days, and the solo/spoken word stuff.  He then came out and talked about how he was an important voice for his generation and the punk rock musical movement; and today's kids don't understand social awareness in music.

His second guest was Will Ferrell.  This is where the dream gets really interesting.  During the interview, will stands up and puts Iggy's hair in pig tails, and then proceeds to cut one of them off.  The studio audience laughs along, thinking it was a prank that was set up.  I was thinking to myself, however, that Will Ferrell had done this on another talk show before, and I was surprised he was doing it again.

Apparently, it was not a set up joke.  Iggy Pop got infuriated and started chasing Will around the set, which started to include some of the very weird items that were in the place I was watching the show, especially the fences and the industrial pipes.  Iggy yells at Will, "My hair was trademarked!" and open the valve to one of the pipes and threw Will inside.  Will climbed out, soaking wet and they were grappling like roman wrestlers.  Soaking wet Will Ferrell and one pig-tailed Iggy Pop.

Then I woke up.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Goin to the Chapel...

Sorry I haven't dream blogged in a while, actually I haven't posted a blog in 8 months.  Silly me...

Anyway, last night's dream was so weird, disturbing and downright icky, I thought I'd share.

The setting, a beautiful Catholic cathedral.  The pews were filled with tons of people waiting to see the big event.  I was dressed in a gorgeous white gown.  Hair and make up done professionally, today was my big day.  I was standing at the back of the church waiting for Emily Podgorski to come down from the balcony so she could walk me down the aisle.  She too was in a wedding dress.

The wedding march begins to play as she escorts me to the alter to meet with my handsome groom, Mike Podgorski.  She kisses me on the cheek, shakes hands with Mike and has a seat in the front pew. John Kiene and an unknown priest were officiating the ceremony.  In my mind, I knew the priest was only there to make the wedding official in the eyes of the Church.

Mike and I take hands and look at each other as John begins the ceremony.  Mike is dressed handsomely in a classic black tuxedo, complete with cumberbun and black bow tie.  John begins with dearly beloved, blah blah blah.  Honestly I don't remember what he was saying and it wasn't very important to the dream.  What was important is that he kept messing up the order of the ceremony and we had to start over several times.  I was getting anxious. 

(I'm going to break the third wall here for a second to explain that a lot of my dreams have to do with me being in a situation where I have to get something done, go through a step by step process, count things, etc.  Most of the time the process gets messed up somehow, and I have to start over.  It is frustrating as hell, and I can only imagine it is my brain trying to work out some complex problem while I'm sleeping and is manipulating me into running through cycles over and over again.)

Finally, John says something along the lines of "Screw it.  Let's just skip to the part where they talk about why they are marrying each other and get this over with".  He hands Mike Podgorski the microphone, Mike turns to the congregation and begins talking about why he loves me.  Says something about how I am philanthropic, nice to people, always willing to lend a hand, etc.  I started to feel all warm and fuzzy, until I realized one very important thing; I knew nothing about Mike Podgorski.  I was starting to feel panicked.  Quickly I started to think why was I marrying him?  What was I going to say to the congregation about him to prove my love for him as he was for me?  I was definitely having cold feet and about ready to run down the aisle and out of the church when Mike finished and handed me the microphone.

Then I woke up.

Analyze that, bitches! 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Counting cards and Star Wars

August 23, 2011.
Had 2 dreams last night. One was really annoying, and one was AWESOME!  I'll start with the annoying one. 

I was working as a dealer at a casino benefit for something.  It was at a hotel and I was sitting behind a pretty awesome desk and was handed a wooden box of playing cards.  There had to be about 4 decks all mixed up in the box and I spent a majority of the time in this dream sorting the cards by deck design.  There were normal red and blue background, target background, some pictures too.  I never got to deal one game of blackjack.  It was very annoying actually.

The other dream was freaking cool!  It started out during the battle between Luke and Darth Vader in cloud city.  Luke had the upper hand (and had both hands) and won the fight by cutting off the hand and head of Darth Vader.  Feeling the power of what he did, he joined the dark side.  He picked up Vader's red lightsaber and cast aside his blue one, his transformation to the dark side was complete.
Next in the dream Luke was sitting at a table with the emperor.  The emperor was explaining to him that due to the accident (what accident? I don't know) he had to wear the breathing apparatus.  His mask was a cloth mask with goggles and a mouthpiece strapped over his mouth.  It was like a combination of Darth Vader and the Hooded Cobra Commander.  It was awesome. 
Luke was arguing with the Emperor about the prophecy that said the Anakin Skywalker was the "chosen one".  They apparently were in the emperor's office in Corresaunt (spelling) because Luke pulled out his light saber and cut through the wall and pushed the emperor into the room where the prophecy was displayed on the wall.  He was explaining that it was misread.  It wasn't Anakin who was to save the Jedi, but Luke who was to save the dark side.  He then pulled out his light saber and killed the emperor and declared himself emperor of the Galaxy.  I think Lucas needs to make this a movie!

Happy reading!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Execution, the dentist and a friend helping me to the bathroom.

So this morning after I woke up with Emilie and the dogs, I went back to bed for a couple hours since I don't have to be at work until 1:30.  I had one of my more peculiar dreams during that nap.
Starts out and I'm at the dentist.  I need a routine cleaning, but they decide to sedate me.  They stick the needle in and I start to count backwards from 10 and lay down.  They think I'm asleep so they start cleaning.  I could feel the high speed rotating brush on my teeth but couldn't speak to say I was awake.
Next thing I know I'm being moved on a stretcher into a room with a bunch of other stretchers and I hear the dentist say "Prep him for test surgery".  I was thinking to myself "Test surgery? Am I at a dental school or something?"  It was now that I realized that I had 2 cough drops in my mouth by the back of my throat and also 2 of those cotton balls they put in your mouth at the dentist.  I was trying with my tongue to keep them in place.
So I'm laying in my stretcher and realize I have to go to the bathroom.  I get up but I am super zonked from the anethesia and I also have an IV cart with me (I guess that was the anethesia), so my friend Kennard Williams from Guitar Center starts to help walk me to the bathroom.  The nurse is screaming at us as I'm bumping into things and falling down.  He said to her "No, I got this," and we walk to the bathroom.
The bathroom was more like an open auditorium with a bunch of seats that people were sitting in, and there was a hallway with a bunch of doors.  I went into one of the doors with Kennard's help, and walked up to a urinal.  It was here that I realized that this was also the place where they execute criminals on death row.  The room I was in was the bathroom, shower and changing room they would bring criminals into before they took them out into the main auditorium where people would watch the executions.
I started to pee and realized, "Why am I having dental surgery when I've already been executed and I'm dead?"
Then I woke up...I had to pee. 

KISS Live at Truman State

So the dream starts and I'm in a small auditorium at Truman State University.  On stage is KISS.  I'm sitting literally right in front of Gene Simmons.  Its kinda like an unplugged show for contest winners.  So they start their show and I'm just hanging out watching. 
After their first song, I look down and it seems I have a bass guitar in my hand.  I start playing the bass line to Sweet Child O' Mine (not a KISS Song), and they like it and break out into playing it.  A little spontaneous jam session during a concert with KISS.  I felt pretty cool at that moment in time.
After our rousing rendition of Sweet Child O' Mine, I no longer had a bass in my hands (spontateous combustion maybe?)  No one else but Gene was on stage and he announced that during this tour "Our tourmates weren't going to be on this leg of the tour, but since we told them we were gonna be in Saint Louis they decided to come!"  (Truman State isn't in STL you say?  I know.....)  So Gene, who now had an acoustic guitar started playing "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica and out came Bruno Mars to sing it, backed by a full orchestra with electric guitar players etc.
So Bruno sings the first verse and during an instrumental break he climbs into this plexi-glass contraption that spins him around.  The same motion that you see in science fiction movies with that gyro type thing that goes around in all directions.  At this point Gene isn't playing anymore (since the orchestra is backing up Bruno Mars singing a Metallica song) and we start talking. 
Apparently Gene and I are friends in my dream.  So we're chatting and he shows me the expense report he had Truman State reimburse him on.  One line was $750.00 for clothes.  He said "Yea, I bought that jacket with the bird on the back, remember that?  I also bought some wool underwear and made Truman pay me back for it.  Sharon (his wife's name is Shannon) asked me why I needed that.  She was like 'You'll be in Saint Louis with Mike. why do you need those things?'"
Then I woke up.
I kinda wish I was friends with Gene Simmons.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Drug running, TRON, and puppies 03-10-11

Another dream influenced by nyquil.  I was in a crime syndicate and the boss, a young, overly smart, Tom Cruise kind of character, was talking about a big score he was getting from Indonesia.  We were in a dark warehouse and knew the truck was coming in on the dock. We had 2 big dogs with us too. As we were getting ready for the truck we hit buttons on our belt buckles and were wearing TRON outfits, but it was kinda like power rangers because our lights were different colors.  There was a yellow guy, a blue guy, a red guy, and a pink girl (of course).  Then the truck came.

We started unloading boxes, tons of them.  The score was supposed to be thousands of lbs of drugs.  However, as we were unloading our boxes, we noticed that they were really filled with weird things, and not the drugs we were expecting.  A lot of them were filled with frogs and turtles.   But we kept unloading them anyway. 

As I was unloading I saw a guy from the truck fill the dogs water dishes with some water he pulled off the truck.  One couple that was with us had a weiner dog and he started drinking it.  I knew that didn't seem right.  I went over to him and started petting him and holding him.  His owners walked up, and the poor little puppy died in my arms, right in front of them.  We all started crying. That was sad.  I knew then (finally) that we were being taken and was rallying my group of people to fight the Indonesian drug runners....then I woke up.